Why Read a Book, When You Can Masturbate?

Posted on Nov 14, 2019

This was never intended to be an article or anything. I found myself with some extra time. Be warned, chaos ahead…

I have a great playlist in my ears and a pint in front of me, waiting for a friend at a pub — who never showed up — and decided I’d jot down some random thoughts.

You know, I’m sitting here thinking about what I have and have not accomplished today, as if that means anything to you.

I measure my life in moments. Goals set. Goals accomplished. Did I achieve my goals for the day? Am I ready for tomorrow?

I’ll tell you, if I were to take a mental poll right now, my ratings wouldn’t be too good. That’s okay though, I’m doing what I do. I’ll have another shot at it tomorrow.

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Astro, not sure about the art.

I suppose I’m at that age,

where I find myself often wondering about past decisions.

Things like, “What if I didn’t marry, then divorce that girl I knew I shouldn’t marry from the start,” or,

“I should’ve given that job a little more time. It was a good job, even though circumstances were bad,” or,

“Why did I even accept that other job that, in my fucking gut, I knew was a bad choice,” or,

“A great life-moment was meeting Astro, he’s become the longest and strongest friendship I could ever have.”

One thing I never do, is judge myself.

I mean, who the hell am I to judge me? Seriously, fuck me!

Depending on my mood, I am a fucking rock god or a total loser-shmuck, I’m either brilliant at what I do, or an absolute fake.

There’s no reality in self-efficacy… but self effacement, well that’s another story altogether.

There’s only what your brain tells you, right now, in the context of how your brain is working, right now. Yet, don’t ever fear, there’s a whole slew of others who will tell you your worth, what you should think, and feel.

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Don’t let them do that, we live in a complicated world.

Sure, centuries ago the average human life-span was mid-30s. There were plagues that wiped out populations. Hell, a small cut on your finger could become a life-threatening infection.

Modern science and vaccinations (lol at the anti-vaxxers) have saved us from, what we can look back on, as trivial death.

Yet, our new plagues are the diseased need for recognition and acceptance by hundreds of strangers via little pictures on phones. Those parasitic devices, that are nothing more than a masturbatory addiction to what amounts to the desperate pleas of acceptance from everyone else.

Our new, deadly infections come in the form of sound-byte media designed, not to inform, but to manipulate and twist reality. A new form of “news,” a scheme to excuse, otherwise pleasant and thoughtful people, from seeking out knowledge to form their own opinions.

And, it’s all true. Why? Because it’s there. It’s in your feed.

Let’s have a look at that word “feed”.

Your feed that’s tailored, through algorithms that are smarter than you, to feed you what you want to see and hear.

You see, there are these people, who run some companies, that develop these apps, to run on devices, created by other companies, designed to make you addicted to the need to be accepted.

It’s high protein chicken feed, but what are they fattening you up for?

Think about that.

The things you care about, those #hashtags that really mean something and those posts you “like,” because you agree. Now, ask yourself — I mean really ask yourself — why? Where did your moral standards, your belief system, the things that matter, come from? What’s driving that?

How many “likes” did you get on your last post. Feel good?

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This little, black heart beats once a year.

Why bother reading a fucking book?

Remember when I said, “we live in a complicated world”? If you do, I’m pleased, that you’ve read this far down the page. Maybe I should write a book (kidding).

The world has become more complex because the need and desire to experience, learn, and seek out fundamental truth has become a lost art.

The world has become so complex because, to be blunt, most people don’t know how to receive information, decode it, digest it, and make sense of it for themselves anymore.

I’m convinced that one of the social drivers for this is that less than 10% of the combined populations of all first world nations has read a book, from beginning-to-end, in the last decade.

Less than 10% of the combined populations of all first world nations have read a book in the last 10 years.

I don’t know if that’s true or not. I made it up. Maybe, if you read a little bit more, you’d see the fallacy in that statement.


this was never intended to be an article or anything.

I found myself with some extra time. I have a great playlist in my ears, and a pint in front of me, waiting for a friend at a pub — who never showed up — and decided I’d jot down some random thoughts.

Make no mistake, I’m going to spend some time selecting the “right” tags for this post, and I’m going to track how many “reads” this gets. In the back of my rock-god mind, I will judge humanity and, more so, my self-worth, based on the results.

Yet, the loser-shmuck and absolute fake me, also in the back of my mind, will likely accept anything, because we have no expectations for anything.

Hope you got a laugh out of this, have a great day or night wherever you are.

By the way, put your damn phone down and read a fucking book!

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